Please note: It's just as difficult to declare something a non-right as it is to declare something not true. While it may be emotionally satisfying to state that something is false, it is just about impossible to prove something not true. Actually, proving something anything is just about impossible. At most, you can usually find a workable guess that is acceptable under local conditions. Anyone who would like to take exception with this statement is welcome to email me and talk to me about it. I don't bite, although I'm almost certainly certafiably insane. I suspect this is a normal effect of being exposed to 30 years of Earth around the 21st century.
When I was younger (i.e. 21) I thought that this document more or less described fairness, was humerous, and was a good thing to have on the internet. I'm no longer clear on any of those things, but I leave it on my web page for completeness.. I wanted my web page to capture how I changed as a individual, because it's not clear to me that there is one particular age that is better than all others - indeed, it seems likely that there are desirable attributes about each age humans go through, and that understanding how they grow over time might be very worthwhile.
BILL OF NON-RIGHTS
The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from
Cobb County, GA.
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure
the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain
and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people
were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require
a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -
not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc., but the World is full of idiots, and
probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not
expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who
achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That
would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other
people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock
you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a
big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children
risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience.
We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you
from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy
parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our
time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform
and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want
all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times,
but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of
education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an
American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by
the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance
of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill
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